And Now You Are One
Matt and I have been reading up a lot on personal finances and marriage. One of the top reasons for divorce in America is money problems and fights. I think it's an area of concern for couples. It's something they should talk about and, most definitely, agree on. Honestly, my relationship with Matt has been great. We've always been communicators about most things in our marriage, except for finances.
Whithin the first year of our marriage, we had medical bills, student loans, credit card and car payments and we just didn't want to talk about it. I was content with him handling the money because I could ignore it. It didn't create a lot of tension between us, but I could see that it bothered him whenever we went to the grocery store or had to buy things we actually needed. I hated seeing that look on his face. It was a look of frustration and disappointment. I used to feel guilty about spending a dime.
Fast-forward to today, the story is completely different. Matt and I sit down every month and do our budget. It's something we rather enjoy because we tell our money where to go and it's a liberating thing. His frustration and disappointment is gone. And my feelings of guilt are gone as well. All of our expenses are planned now.
We're scheduled to talk at a marriage class at our church next Monday, so Matt and I have been talking about our past emotions and experiences and where we are now. How can we better help others that were in the same or similar situation in their marriage? How can they avoid the pitfalls of debt that we have climbed out of?
In the process of preparing for our talk, I came across an article on The News Leader called Financial Partners: 10 helpful tips on avoiding money problems in your new marriage. I started reading it because the 10 tips actually came from Dave Ramsey and I love the guy for what he is doing for people. A lot of the tips were helpful but didn't go into much detail. Probably to keep her article within her requirements, and partly because she hasn't followed Dave so she's not aware of the nuances within his principles.
So, here are the 10 tips to help you avoid money problems in your new marriage, or not new for that matter:
1. 100% Disclosure.
"You must tell your spouse everything about your debt, income, financial strengths and weaknesses," Ramsey said. "No secrets allowed." This is not poker. You've got to lay all your cards out on the table or you will lose.
2. Joint Agreement.
"Be in agreement on major money issues, like debt, savings and budgeting," Ramsey said. You are a team and can't win unless you have a common goal.
3. Practice Makes Perfect.
"Pretend like you're married on paper so you can get some of the money fights out of the way," he suggested. Make a practice budget.
4. Zero Down Payment.
Don't pay bills for people you're not married to. "This causes undue strain on the relationship before you're married," Ramsey said.
5. American Dream On Hold.
Wait at least a year before you buy a house. "..you don't know each other well enough when you're first starting out. Give yourselves a year to find your financial equilibrium and come to a point where financially you're functioning as one."
6. Share and Share Alike.
None of this you and me, it's we. Open a joint checking account. "This forces you to convert 'her bills' and 'his bills' into 'our bills' and encourages unity and communication in the marriage," Ramsey said. "I know very few financially successful people who have separate lives and separate checking accounts. If you want a life of your own, you shouldn't get married."
7. Another Meeting.
When you get married, have a monthly budget committee meeting. "Spend your money on paper on purpose and in agreement," he said.
8. Saving for A Rainy Day.
Remember that your first step in planning your financial future is to have an emergency fund. If you have debt, start a baby emergency fund of $1,000.
9. The Big Pay Off.
When the debt is gone, build up the fund to cover 3 to 6 months of living expenses.
10. Play the Percentages.
If your emergency fund is fully funded, "set aside 15 percent of your income toward retirement," Ramsey said. If you have kids, start a college fund when they are born.
Whithin the first year of our marriage, we had medical bills, student loans, credit card and car payments and we just didn't want to talk about it. I was content with him handling the money because I could ignore it. It didn't create a lot of tension between us, but I could see that it bothered him whenever we went to the grocery store or had to buy things we actually needed. I hated seeing that look on his face. It was a look of frustration and disappointment. I used to feel guilty about spending a dime.
Fast-forward to today, the story is completely different. Matt and I sit down every month and do our budget. It's something we rather enjoy because we tell our money where to go and it's a liberating thing. His frustration and disappointment is gone. And my feelings of guilt are gone as well. All of our expenses are planned now.
We're scheduled to talk at a marriage class at our church next Monday, so Matt and I have been talking about our past emotions and experiences and where we are now. How can we better help others that were in the same or similar situation in their marriage? How can they avoid the pitfalls of debt that we have climbed out of?
In the process of preparing for our talk, I came across an article on The News Leader called Financial Partners: 10 helpful tips on avoiding money problems in your new marriage. I started reading it because the 10 tips actually came from Dave Ramsey and I love the guy for what he is doing for people. A lot of the tips were helpful but didn't go into much detail. Probably to keep her article within her requirements, and partly because she hasn't followed Dave so she's not aware of the nuances within his principles.
So, here are the 10 tips to help you avoid money problems in your new marriage, or not new for that matter:
1. 100% Disclosure.
"You must tell your spouse everything about your debt, income, financial strengths and weaknesses," Ramsey said. "No secrets allowed." This is not poker. You've got to lay all your cards out on the table or you will lose.
2. Joint Agreement.
"Be in agreement on major money issues, like debt, savings and budgeting," Ramsey said. You are a team and can't win unless you have a common goal.
3. Practice Makes Perfect.
"Pretend like you're married on paper so you can get some of the money fights out of the way," he suggested. Make a practice budget.
4. Zero Down Payment.
Don't pay bills for people you're not married to. "This causes undue strain on the relationship before you're married," Ramsey said.
5. American Dream On Hold.
Wait at least a year before you buy a house. "..you don't know each other well enough when you're first starting out. Give yourselves a year to find your financial equilibrium and come to a point where financially you're functioning as one."
6. Share and Share Alike.
None of this you and me, it's we. Open a joint checking account. "This forces you to convert 'her bills' and 'his bills' into 'our bills' and encourages unity and communication in the marriage," Ramsey said. "I know very few financially successful people who have separate lives and separate checking accounts. If you want a life of your own, you shouldn't get married."
7. Another Meeting.
When you get married, have a monthly budget committee meeting. "Spend your money on paper on purpose and in agreement," he said.
8. Saving for A Rainy Day.
Remember that your first step in planning your financial future is to have an emergency fund. If you have debt, start a baby emergency fund of $1,000.
9. The Big Pay Off.
When the debt is gone, build up the fund to cover 3 to 6 months of living expenses.
10. Play the Percentages.
If your emergency fund is fully funded, "set aside 15 percent of your income toward retirement," Ramsey said. If you have kids, start a college fund when they are born.
posted by Emma at 10:07 AM
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